Story Rhymes #44 Girls Aint nothin but trouble – (DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince)


Song: Girls aint nothin but trouble
Album: Rock the House
Year: 1987
Producer: Jazzy Jeff


Continuing the countdown of the greatest story rhymes in Hip Hop’s Golden Era ….

Girls aint nothing but trouble

The first story has Will walking down the street when he sees an attractive woman, he says hello; she identifies herself as “exotic Elaine” … I dunno maybe she was a GLOW or something, but not to be outdone he introduces himself as “The Prince” so I guess they are both strange
Moving along…
He basically says he raps her up and then flashed some money and she was on his tip … he basically admits to trickin off on her and that got her sewn up:

“I took her over town I wined her and dined her
She ask me was I horny? I said well kinda”

NOTE: I’m going original version, NOT the watered down corny version they re-released after he became famous

After noting she was horny, she jumped on him and started hugging and kissing her, and then unlike the kid-friendly Will Smith we all know and love he

“Punched her in the chin and said “You better stop buggin”

After Will thwarted her advances, the woman (Named exotic Elaine) yelled out “RAPE”, The Fresh Prince then does another hilarious thing (Again the Original Version)

“I got mad when she started to yell, so I hit her with a trash can and ran like hell”

Anyway, Cops appeared out of nowhere and chased him down … and beat him down, he blames the “Dumb Broad” and says Girls are nothing but trouble
… Though he probably should’ve have tricked off on a woman calling herself “exotic Elaine” minutes after meeting her

Second Story

Will was in a bar watching Sugar Ray Leonard fight sipping on Tequila when he runs into a woman named Sheila
… You know? He meets some very aggressive women as she pays for his drink and says “let’s go”

They get to her place, more drinks “Wine in the glasses … and then she starts to make little passes at me”

“She says Sweetheart today’s your lucky day, cuz when I’m finished with you, you’re going to yell ‘Olay'”

They eventually make it to the bedroom, Will notices her Gucci bed sheets … maybe they had the logo on them, I dunno.
As The Fresh Prince goes in to seal the deal, a man shows up (Sounding like Mr. T) and asks where’s his baby
… Oddly he shows up pissed, anyway he shows up in the room and see’s Will with his woman and tells him

“Boy I’ma tear your butt limb from limb”

Will escapes by jumping out of the window (During a snowstorm mind you) … naked.

And he left his keys at Sheila’s (They were in his pants) so again he warns us that Girls aint nothing but trouble, I suppose she was trouble
… Probably should’ve taken her back to HIS place on that one.

So, he meets one woman who tries to sex him down immediately and he rebuffs her … then goes home to smash another woman immediately; not incredibly consistent but … dope song

If you can find the original, it’s a much better version, funnier than the attempt to make a funnier one in the edit after Parents just don’t understand came out.

The GREAT Original version

The Watered down commercial re-released crap

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