Office Restroom Chronicles II (Stank)

November 11, 2014


Remember Deuces? ???

If not…then click and read…DANG!



Mannnn Aint nothin worse than getting up from your desk, full of “I gotta go” -ness on yo fayce
Get to the rest room (Cuz it aint no dang bathroom when you aint at home) And as soon as you open the door
the smell is like…


I’m like ewwwwwww

Especially if my mowf is open, it’s prolly all in there now.

Then you gotta hold your breath and go…and then that one sniff gets in…ewwww
And you know somebody is either sittin in there just grinnin with a big ass ‘I smell like collards and ointment’ toothy ass grin on they face

You should be ashamed of yourself…OR you should be exhumed

Dont bother shakin the handle or stompin yo stankin feet so I wont come into that stall…I dont want no PARTS of that part of the restroom
…aint nowhere to rest no more

I’ma go downstairs and use the other floor’s joint…I’ll leave you to yo pooh pooh heaven.
You know it’s bad when you semll what’s doin While you’re walking down the hall TO the restroom
like that green smoke is coming from under the door with the “come here” finger like the old Scooby Doo cartoon


My nose be like No my brotha, you gots to get yo own


I heard women can be extra trife too…like sanitary napkins all out (used) and poo puddles and stuff
And it be like smellin like


Like damn Cadaver crotch!

I remember walking past the ladies room one day and said: “It smells like a bad date in there”

You know what you never have to worry about ladies?

The urinal!

Mannnnnnnn now when I get a house I’m so gettin one
BUT this is what you women DONT see! Okay, you know how they work right? Right.

But how is it that I go up to one…and it be short and curlies on the damn urinal?
Like what kinda fluffy ass shag rug men have down there that hair escapes and lands on the urinal?

How close are you getting to the damn thing? Are they makin sweet love to that muhfuka when aint nobody in there
like…you aint supposed to feel the water on yo ballz homeboy

What if women used urinals…they’d put like stirrups on there..and you could swing and pee
…be like weeee! (literally)

And people be spending MAD time in there…how do you do that?

I dont want to spend NO time in the public restroom…I dont want to touch anything…I dont want my clothes to touch anything

I turn on faucets with the heel of my hand

I open the door with a paper towel

Flush with a knuckle

I’m saying though…how the short and curlies get on the urinal?

OHHHH! And what about when you go to the stalls and it’s short and curlies on the bowl

Was Animal Muppet in this muhfuk?


Or like you go in the stall and there’s “leftovers” in there like…


What home-training-less, ingrate ass primate forget to flush or has so much ass-spackle allupenem that a flush or two wont do?
…and hey  look back there before you leave!


What about anypoo?

What about Poo Poo Cu choo?

What about Pooh Bear?

Or Poo dat peekin in my window?



K, I’m done


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  • Mr. Serious

    this could have been a podcast. Toilet Talk with Tank & ‘Tik.
    Are you POOPIN it?

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