#unappreciation – Transformers The Movie and My Childhood

March 27, 2012

Coming on the heels of why The GI Joe animated movie totally disrespected my childhood I realized the other important 80s property in my life/childhood The Transformers was ALSO ruined and done in by the animated movie in the 80s … this movie was SO bad that The GI Joe Movie had to be released straight to VHS

Anyway, I figured I’d get my #unappreciation for this ipecac out of the way and do another post sooooo….

Transformers The Movie as seen by eclectik –>

The fact that Spike is on Cybertron off top is offensive … the introduction of the humans as characters was annoying from the jump

I never quite understood why the Transformers couldn’t return to Cybertron
… then at one point I thought Cybertron didn’t exist anymore

The ONLY good thing about the Transformers movie (The only Transformers movie) is Optimus Prime dying
Poom Pinged!

I remember being in the theater LAUGHING … people were pissed but I thought it was Hilarious and WELL overdue

Annoying: Through the whole first season of Transformers, has anyone ever heard of “the Matrix”? No? Exactly.

But now alladasudden it’s important, it’s inside of Prime and he’s passing it on … sheesh

I did like how cold hearted the decepticons were in the movie over the cartoon, when Astro train ran out of fuel they were like welp …and dumped the gimpy robots lol
… even Megatron (What I did NOT like)

Annoying: Unicron (Who knew or cared about Unicron) The Finished Death Star Galactus Gave Megatron and the rest of the dumped guys new bodies so they can destroy the alladasuddin important matrix

Why not just make him Megatron again? OH! Wanted to sell more toys
… this was the equivalent of turning Cobra Commander into a snake for me … you’re getting rid of icons like they didnt matter
And the character design was asstastic! … ugh!

… some damn “Galvatron”

The Sweeps? Scourge was a cool name … Cyclonus? Sheesh … Skywarp it was Skywarp!
Scourge was Thundercracker … also a dope name … also racist lol
And the Sweeps all looked the damn same! C’mon!

So then the Awful Autobot Kup (Just why) and Wack Hot Rod are caught up on the planet and this Kranix is squealing about Uniclown … that’s why he was fed to the Sharkticons

Anyway, The Quintessons Some 5 headed Robo Squid … that was so wack they didnt even get a damn toy!
… just saying this movie was a cash grab, made only to release new toys … and they didnt even get made … feh.

Anyway, these blowhards sentence these other two ass clowns to robotic shark death (And why are there robot sharks?)

But OH NO! Grimlock comes and reasons the Sharkticons
… (yes Grimlock. the F’n MENSA Bot) to go against the Q’s and lets the other autobots break free

Oh and then Wheelie just happens to find a ship so they can bounce (sigh)

Dope: Ultra Magnus gets DONE by the Sweeps … I’ll admit that was nice
… thats what he gets

Annoying: Alladasuddin Hot Rod shows up and The Junkions repair Ultra Magnus and gave them a ship … even though they were about to kill them
The Autobots have some excellent persuasion skills

Galvatron starts to act like Starscream and wants to go against the guy that gave him life …

Unicron transforms into a Gigantic robot the size of earth to attack Cybertron (Why didn’t he do that in the first damn place)
Galvatron shoots at Unicron (for whatever reason) and pretty much gets eaten by Unicron ((sigh))

Everyone tries to take Unicrown down, and fails … Wack ass Hotrod crashes a ship through his eyeball? ugh

Now alladasuddin The Decepticons and Autobots are working together … INSIDE of Unicron Wack Hot Rod finds Unicron and they work together … then Unicron controls Galavatron WHILE HES INSIDE HIM ((sigh))

But ooooh no, Somehow Wack Hot Rod fins this all important Matrix and He has the touch … he has the f’n power to unleash/open the Matrix and destroy Unicron

… not before it turns him into Rodimus Prime (What a name)

He tosses Galvatron into space … recuses ALL of the Autobots from inside uniCORN before he blows up (Cuz they were inside his body mind you)

The Autobots win … they run Cybertron again, taking down the decepticons
… oh and not to be out done, what orbits the planet as their new satellite?

unicron’s head

ha. fn ha.

Why this movie totally disrespected my childhood:

  • They killed off the damn near every character I grew up with for the first two seasons of The Transformers
  • They tried to force feed me new characters that had no personality or were so similar to each other it didn’t matter
  • This Matrix has been there all along? Why hasn’t it ever been mentioned? Why wasn’t Megatron after that? Woulda made more sense!
  • So … Humans can just rock on Planets and Moons like that? Okay.
  • They tried to reset TF by having galvatron have all of Megatron’s memories and making Starscream possess Scourge … HEY they coulda just left it the hell alone!

There’s a reason why Season 3 is universally known as the end of the Transformers

… cuz of this. fukn. movie.

ALLLLLLL That being said, this movie is LIGHTYEARS better than anything Michael Bay has done to the franchise, while I was insulted and annoyed by “Transformers The Movie”

The 2007 Transformers felt like anal rape.


But Still .. This?


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  • http://coldslitherpodcast.com Classick Material

    You are an evil, evil man.

  • Montoyis

    First, the Fat Boys break up…..now this…

  • Lamar The Revenger

    Wow.. At least I agree with the Bayformers comment hahaha. Seriously though. everyone has a right to their own opinion. I respect yours, E. I do believe though, they mentioned the Creation Matrix aka the Matrix of Leadership in the comic before the movie. Yes I understand a lot of us probably didn’t read the Marvel comic. Bur there is ONE thing I agree with you.. Seeing Megatron & the Decepticons kill Brawn, Prowl, Ratchet & Ironhide in the beginning was very tramatic. Prowl was worse with the eyes & the smoke from the mouth.

  • Dave

    Last pic…not cool.

  • Life Spark

    “The Sweeps? Scourge was a cool name … Cyclonus? Sheesh … Skywarp it was Skywarp!
    Scourge was Thundercracker … also a dope name … also racist lol
    And the Sweeps all looked the damn same! C’mon!”

    As of September 29, 2013, I discovered that Ron Friedman answered the question of who became Scourge, the Sweeps, Cyclonus and his Armada in his TF: The Movie script. This script is from 1986.
    ”’Now follows what Ron Friedman wrote regarding Scourge and the Sweeps;”’
    Their bodies are turned from battered Decepticons to…


    SCOURGE (Sweep character) is bearded, fanged and ferocious
    looking and as soon as he has been CREATED, he roars and
    stretches and an ARRAY OF SIMILAR CREATURES – smaller and all
    wearing dark and matching uniforms – are INSTANTLY CREATED
    FROM OTHERS behind him


    Scourge, the tracker….and his huntsmen…the

    The animators followed this description to the letter. Scourge is created and behind him similar but SMALLER creatures are instantly created. Kickback and Shrapnel are both SMALLER then Thundercracker.
    Therefor Thundercracker IS Scourge.
    Furthermore, it is ESSENTIAL that Kickback and Shrapnel are Sweeps because they posses the ability to clone themselves. That is the explanation for the number of the Sweeps increasing or decreasing.
    ”’Now follows what Ron Friedman wrote regarding Cyclonus and his Armada;”’


    CYCLONUS is CREATED and then his “armada” of similar, but smaller
    and similarly colored and clad creatures are formed.


    Cyclonus, the warrior…and his armada…..

    IMPORTANT; Ron Friedman did NOT state that Cyclonus is in the foreground or background during the reformatting. Likewise, he also did NOT state that the Armada is in the foreground or background during the reformatting. Ron Friedman DID state that Cyclonus’ Armada are similar, but SMALLER and similarly colored and clad creatures. Bombshell is SMALLER than Skywarp. Therefor Skywarp IS Cyclonus.

    Furthermore, it is ESSENTIAL that Bombshell is Armada because he possesses the ability to clone himself. That is the reason for how it is possible for Cyclonus to have a TRUE armada to lead.
    The Armada is made up of Bombshell and his clones.

    And there you have it. The answer has ALWAYS been given by Ron Friedman himself. The animation does NOT contradict what he wrote in his TF: The Movie script. EVERYTHING fits. What makes me sad is the lost story possibilities where it is ACKNOWLEDGED that Scourge remembers that he STILL has the powerchip rectifier that grants him the ability to create sonic booms and that Cyclonus remembers that he STILL has the powerchip rectifier that grants him the ability of teleportation. I rest my case.

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