Cheddar Trikn

February 13, 2009

‘Nother intricate plot, Valentines day’s a Raper
‘Damn, why she wanna stick me for my paper?’

My Mo-sci-no hoe, my Ver-sa-ce hottie
Come to find out, you was fuckin everybody

You knew about me, I’ma call e
Make him Trick off in Virginia, buy for me in D.C.

Woe, oh is me, that’s what I get for trickin
Balls all dry, But I’m clit lickin

Lickin some more, Cuz its Feb 1-4
If I didnt all you’d hear is e dont love me no more

Disrespectful shit, I’m not Valentines Material
Fuck around and take you out for Orange juice and Cereal

You feel me? Guys forced to Trick just to hit
‘Cause of you, I’m on some real….uhhh



Guess what’s comin’?

Trick off for pussy Day! It’s on the 14th…yall celebratin?

You know what be happenin?

You dont hear from people all year…no happy new Year in January…not Thanksgivin or Christmas wishes the previous one
Round end of January…W-2 Time you hear from them

“Long time no see”
“What have you been up to”
“I miss you”
“We should get together”

…word. Should we?

What’s with the Hearts and Candy? People fall into this every single year…What’s the point?

I’d be offended if I were a woman and some wack dude (I hate the word “dude” by the way) Some wack dude comes up and treats me(you) all right and etc etc.
I’d be like DAMN Treat me like that all the time!

Guys get swindled…You go all out…trick off; do little or big things for what? Cuz what? It’s the 14th?
For some Ass? The SAME ass you got on the 12th?

As Mayor Clay Davis (The Wire) would say “Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeee-idddddddddd”

When do guys get love? Never once have I seen, heard, or experienced the man gettin done up for…a woman going all out for the guy and letting him enjoy himself

How about this:

Come over..with some groceries and a couple DVDs
Turn on The Xbox and some Music
Mute the TV, play some Smooth R&B (Or my Rotation 🙂 )while you cook and talk
Prep Dinner
He goes to get (or you brought the Coldstone)
After Dinner and the movie you excuse yourself to the restroom…clean up and come back in somefin like:


And Act out a Dime Lines of your choice 🙂
…see e’s here to help.After you get done with that…exchange a small gift (Come up with a $$$ limit and you cant spend more than that)

Then Dime lines some more….go home and call your girls and tell em how you got yo black blown out and how you turnt him owt.
But Noooooooooooooooooo That doesn’t happen; No, the Guy/Man has to take the lead and do all of everything…FnFs

Luckily for me I dont celebrate Trick off for P Day…it’s against my Religion “eclectikanity”… of the 1st Day bloggers 🙂

The other reason TOFP Day is wack is because it’s always during the week…who wants to go all out and get down for sexy time when you have to go to work that day…and go to work  the next

Like we can sit up 1/2 naked and watch Brown Sugar, Love Jones, You’ve Got mail and Pretty Woman
Turn on some honey Love and get our gettin it on…but damnit; I gotta go to work tomorrow…dont be expectin 3 hours of funk LOL
…Trickin off for some Cheddar Biscuits.

We can go out this Friday…Survivor is on Thursday! lol

It’s a bad precedent…once you start trickin; it’s expected of you…and once you start NOT doing anything (ladies) You’re not expected to…

Its funny; the 15th everybody aint shit and get neglected and dissed and ignored all over again…I say just chill treat people right all the time
It’s much better; This made up Trick off day is too extra for ole e-love.

Stupid shiny balloons and Chocolates (That only 1/3 of them taste good)…

Hey! Why cant guys get a Build-a-Bear? I want one…eff ewe!

  • dean

    LOVELORN! I’ve never had a valentine’s day with anyone, but I don’t think it is that horrible to celebrate the fact that you love or appreciate someone. It goes beyond guy/ girl e. My dad gave me flowers every year and it meant a lot. Don’t be so hard….

  • eclectik

    I’m not being so hard…its part tongue in cheek.

    Ha Ha Ha e’s funny….no?

  • magnoliapeach

    You know the best part of Valentines Day, the Sunday after. 75 – 80% off chocolate.

    If they would them cream filled chocolates out the box it would be so much better.

    Add Love Actually to the romantic movie night and you have a stellar movie line up.

    You must admit, them cheddar biscuits got the ghost though?!

  • beautifulgyrlj

    -U r a DAMN FOOL!!!!!!

    I’m gettin me some Cheddar Biscuits me and my homeys goin out. She broke up with her man and he broke up with his girl and well… U know me I’z the Fly ass single friend LoL.. So we showing love for each other.

    I’m not big on Vday its corny! Them wack ass balloons that last one day. Flowers that die in two days and candy that goes straight to my stomach and thighs and I’m grown I dare not have stuffed animals… Hmmm I shall pass!

    And besides don’t nobody Love me forreal forreal..

  • Keli

    Trick off for p Day!
    -That’s one way to put it.
    I see…you’ve heard from some old p, trying to become V-day p…

    Right, don’t make a point to go out of your way because some commercial holiday say’s so…do it just because.
    I don’t at all have a problem with being the pamperer…I just don’t have anyone to pamper 

    You can keep the cheddar biscuits, but I might trick off for a Popeye’s or church’s biscuit. Lol

    Oh, look at skater build-a-bear. 

  • cuzkaysaidso

    I appreciate your take on Valentine’s Day. It is wack to have one day of extra-ness then going back to the same ‘ol stuff.
    Everyday is a good day for those biscuits, though. They are the truth. Once, I asked for them and the waiter looked at me like: “Who asks for biscuits?” –I DO. Now give it here.
    One of my girlfriends builds bears for all the guys she dates…. and so far you’re the only man that seems to want one. LOL.

  • C’est Chic

    Stop being cranky. If SHE was around, u’d buy her one of those Mylar balloons and nasty @ss See’s chocolates. Stop frontin’.

  • harriet

    i’ve never been a fan of v/p-day myself, even as a married woman.

    i celebrate the love between my husband and i with every meal i make, every sexcapade, every push i agonized through when giving birth, every piece of lingerie i purchase…i don’t need one specific day to do it.

  • bohemiandiva

    Bitter much? lol
    E, stop playin! You know if Zoe was with you, there would be no SEE’S candy or shiny-ass ballons left in the tri-state area!

  • memphiz

    First off do you be rapping in your head while you writing the first parts of your blog b/c i was feeling it lol…and against your religion…good one! i had to slap my knee on that one lmao!

  • skoolboi_krush

    E, I’m with you on this one ….well, right now because I don’t have anybody. If I was coupled up, I’d be trickin’ my ass off.

  • Eb

    E, dont hate on Valentines day… its so unattractive

  • a.tiara

    lol I think men and women should go all out for each other on valentines day. its like couple’s christmas or something lol But I agree you should be treated like this all year but lets be real if you with someone long enough you gonna fuss and fight. Valentines day in my opinion is a reminder of why you cherish that person.

    Anyway, loving the biggie quote at the beginning of this post lol

  • Monie

    Damn…I say dude. That’s my shit. LOL!

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • Charles

    Hahaha…you’re a damn fool. I do agree with you though, like people go all out on the 14th and then come the 15th its back to the same old same old. You should be doing that 365…366 in a leap year. Trickin for P day….

    Let me know where I can get down with your religion. I don’t celebrate the 14th either…

  • mspuddin

    Ugh! Everyone sounds a little bitter this year. I come out of the bathroom lookin like a VS model every night, so exactly, that’s how I should be treated, dude lol j/p

  • lovnlife

    Happy TOFP Day!!!

  • Rich

    I ain’t been through here in a minute, but it’s cool to come back by. I love your acronym TOFP, that’s fresh (I think your play list is getting to me).

    the best line of all:
    For some Ass? The SAME ass you got on the 12th? ROFLMBAO

    Happy Trickin’

  • jackie

    E- you are too funny, but I am so with you on the whole V-Day stuff. I mean I like the idea behind it but if I could only have that one day or the 364 other days to be treated all special and nice, then I would have to pass on that one day. Show me love all the time or not at all!

  • Shi

    Hey E,

    No trickin required!

    Happy E-Day!!!

    Maybe if we call it E-day you will happy abut it. I don’t celebrate V-Day either. Don’t think I have ever had a valentine. I guess they are kool for those want to be with someone and stress them the hell out over what to get you/them. Then you give the gift and get more stressed thinking “Damn will they like it”. Ha! It is just a stupid day ‘cuase most of the time they girl is never really happy with what she gets and the day turns out not so great anyway. The Best is when the guy doesn’t celebrate and the girl does and the never discuss it and the day comes around and she expecting all this hoopla and he’s all calm and it never even crossed his mind!


    All that to Say- HAPPY E-DAY!!

  • RunGirl.

    You are too funny.
    The rap is on point. I look forward to those
    TOFP Day = Hee-larry-us!
    Loving the movie line up. 3 of my top 5 favs
    And taking notes …

  • rawdawg

    when is that cd coming out folk

  • Luvvie

    Usher’s song “Trading Places” is bout a woman pretty much catering to her man for one night and its funny how men be all “dang, that never happens”. Umm… if your girl has never “traded place” with you, then she’s selfish. I love the googly eyes a guy gets after an evening of not bringing out his wallet and getting to some lace and heels. 😀

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  • Classick Oden (@classickmateria)

    Fellas, trick off all you want, do you, but make sure you seal the deal so that come March 14th she reciprocates. If you don’t know about S & BJ day, well….

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