Hello Video by Lionel Richie (Creep. Stalk. KT)

August 27, 2013


Fresh off of the MTV Podcast Parts I and II

If you grew up in the 80’s back when they made Music videos, and they were on TV … and they had stories, you’ve seen the Hello video by Lionel Richie
Everyone loves Hello by Lionel Richie; its been on countless commercials and detailed on RediscoverThe80s

Me? I looked at the video again, and well …

Let’s talk about it.

So …. Lionel Richie was some kind of music teacher I think? Anyway he spends this entire video being a major creep for one of his students
… A blind student.

During class WHILE he should be teaching or at least paying attention he bursts out into song … and keeps yelling “HELLO! Is it me you’re looking for?”
You know, she’s blind … that’s kind of a douche move to ask her that; I mean “I can see it in your eyes”… damn son!

Look at him … like yeaaaahh I’ma get some of that young sightless stuff


Anyway, he basically stalks this little girl though the entire school,


she’s in the cafeteria trying to enjoy lunch … he comes up behind her (probably about to abduct her and lock her up in his jehri curl dungeon) but her friends show up and he backs off … witnesses and all (Otherwise he’d have to kill them *Bruce Wayne Style*)


So he continues to stalk … like in every class, and shouldn’t he be teaching?! He follows her to every class … I guess since he knows she cannot see him he gets away with it
… I have to believe she can smell the afro sheen; bygones.


You know, I wonder how she can perform all these ballet moves … without leg whipping and giving lariats to everyone else in the class, but I digress
… And the teachers aren’t annoyed or taken aback by this lecherous old man staring at this little girl singing in their classes?

So then we get a scene of her at home in bed, reading a book in braille;also she’s either half dead or reading 50 shades of Braille


… and guess who calls?



So the phone rings … she grabs the phone … says hello … silence, and then

HELLO!!!!!! Is it Me you’re looking for!?!?

… And then he hangs up in her face! Now listen, if THAT isn’t a reason to call the authorities!

Doesn’t bother her at all for some reason; methinks she’s use to it.

Anyway, some jerk comes to Lionel’s class (Hey he’s actually not staring at her from up close for a reason) and tells him to go to sculpture class or whatever TF

He walks in the door, and she automatically knows he’s there (That sheen smell I suppose), she’s been sculpting him this whole time and he finally gets to see it
… And guess what? It’s a Lion! Well it’s an exact replica of Lionel’s face somehow, cuz she cannot see him and hasn’t touched him once … but okay.

(I guess you cant be offended, she cant see)

Hey, the Art teacher wasn’t alarmed that this young girl is making an exact replica of the music teacher?

THEN to end all of the creep-ness as she tells him that the bust/head thing is how she seems him … silence but then he lunges at her hands and yells

HELLO!!!!!! Is it me you’re looking for!?!


I’d be like Hello? Are you some sort of tard? I’m right here douche … and stop lunging at me, she shouldve whacked him with that big lipped lion head

But again very rude … she cannot see Lionel

..And you are a kid toucher.


Here she is now, she’s safe … no thanks to Lionel


And that my friends is the Video “Hello” by Lionel Richie

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  • http://twitter.com/chapmanrunner Mr. Serious (@chapmanrunner)

    The problem is Lionel acted like a typical college professor- walking around campus like he owned the place. He obviously targeted her not only because she was sight impaired, but because she clearly did not have any strong male role models in her life. The stalking would have ended quick if her older brother showed up on Lionel’s front porch with a baseball bat, threatening to “crack some skull.”

    Funny ass post as always!

    • eclectik

      Still no excuse for singing all the damn time … and hey those other teachers looked the other way!

      LOL @ Crack some skull

      thank you sir

  • http://twitter.com/SockOfFleagulls Jason Gross (@SockOfFleagulls)

    I’m not sure how I missed this post! The video is so cheesy and yet you can’t look away. I always think of it as what the teacher fantasized about doing, like seeing her in the hall and other classes and just wanting to follow her.

    Is all parts creepy, awkward, and weird as you have eloquent derived. And yes, that head is totally Alex the Lion from Madagascar…

  • http://twitter.com/SockOfFleagulls Jason Gross (@SockOfFleagulls)

    Oh, and thanks for the shout!!

  • Fake Obama

    I was just pass by the google result of this laura carrington lionel richie..
    Your writeup is really outstanding as intelligent man can do balanced with high humorous sense. Salute.

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