Hate The Truth: Spam Funyons

April 14, 2012

Why is it always hating? Why can’t I just NOT like you?

She’s tellin the truth…he’s no damn good…leave him…just like she said about your ex…so what she can’t keep a man, her advice is LIKE THAT!

That is that bull, they starin at her like she’s a piece of meat…firm breasts…nice ass…pretty face…You’re right if she was all fat and nasty like you, they wouldn’t pay her no attention.

All of what? And how do you know they are not all of it? …of if they think that they are?

No hers are not real…yours are; so what if they don’t sit up and look the same…you’re authentic!

Shiddd sometimes you just Grow apart…I mean when you met her the ass was phat and the breasts were plump…after the baby I guess her personality just changed…happens dog.

That’s so cute…he can teach me how to Dougie …Who taught him how to get that ‘D’ he got in English

Stingy ass…I know? Just cuz you didnt give her her Heels, that sweater, and that $500 she let you borrow back; how she not gon let you hold her new coazt? I Mean it matches your Boots your other girl let you borrow.

Wait! You DID NOT get those Laboutins!? They are FIRE! They look money with the rest of that outfit you got from TJ Maxx

You’re right…TV, Internet, Shooting pool…I should get out more…hit the clubs with you; least then I wont have to drink my liquor listen to the music that I want to and stuff; I much rather pay for drinks, cover, dance, listen to bull, get sweat and stepped on and drive back home.

Idris Elba IS a great actor…THAT’S the reason why you hit the theaters…same reason you LOVE you some Forrest Whittaker flicks

Nah! You look good! Prada Shoes, Gucci Bag, Versace Shades, Louis Down…and it works that men take you out to eat since all you got at home is Spam and funyons

No, maybe most of what the Lil’s and Yungs say and sing about just sounds ignorant.

College is for nerds…ole Learnin ass…Job gettin ass…Money havin ass…fukers

I KNOW! Messin with YOUR time; wish they’d hurry up and get off work so we can get on this Madden!

Girrrrrrrrlll I know! He don’t go to church I’d have to let him go too…everything else is perfect but he doesnt go to church like your Ex that cheated on you and stole your money, he needs the Lord like him!

I didn’t know that hairlines were suppose to start wear your ears are…I couldn’t even tell that perm didn’t take

No see, Jay Z respects Beyonce as an artist…that’s what initially attracted him to her; then they just fell in love

Gabrielle Union is REAL friendly…that’s why she use to be in every club picture and rumored to be dating a different guy every week… good thing Wade was single when she met him

Nah, she said she liked art so  you lied and told her you did too…How did you know she was talkin about THAT Picasso…it coulda been more than one.

Technically that picture you sent her off the net IS you…it’s just the slightly lighter cuter High School Homecoming you…But you graduated 8 years ago…sall the same.

The Hot Pink and Dark Purple top is the Hotness…matches EXACTLY with all that eye makeup you got on…And your new Streaks…FIERCE!

Oh DAMN! So you asked her out and she expects you to pick her up, pay for the meal AND the movie!? Golddigger! What? You had to take her BACK home too!?…bitch.

Why is mom tripping for real!? At 30 you’d THINK she’d say something before she came down in the basement…she knew you had company!

So if you got a skirt on and you’re gettin your eagle on grabbin his crotch singin ‘put it in my mouth’ how DARE he think you’re gonna have sex with him…you’re

I know!  Not talking to you is a bitch move…what guy does that? Just cause you bad mouth him behind his back and try to push up on his girl…what a punk

OH!!!! You got the Louis Vutton JUST like Gucci! They gon be hatin when you get a job!!!!

No you Didn’t get the 50″ HDTV PLUS the Surround sound! Xbox 360 BIG Pimpin! You and your 3 roommates will be gettin it poppin!

I know! Common is wack…Common is gay…just cuz he’s in movies and all the women want to fuk him…he aint nuffin…if you were from Chicago they’d be on you to…that’s ALL it takes.

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  • http://www.dirtyprettythangs.com PBG

    I appreciate the illogical logic of this post. I also like that it’s equal opportunity in its ridiculousness. Kudos!

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