Things that annoy me … things I cannot stand … be annoyed with me
Erasers on pencils that don’t erase
I be all writing in pencil and get ready to erase and get mad smudge son! Eraser be new and ish…now it look like word poo
Overcooked pepperoni
One reason I don’t like to order pizza, it’s always a crapshoot…you get your pizza and the pepperonis are all burnt and curled up on the ends like Genie shoes
tastin all crispy and bacony if I WANTED crispy pork circles I’da ordered some
THAT’S why I always order extra cheese…see they put the cheese ON TOP of the pep so its harder to over cook them in the oven 😉
Laptop Keyboards
They all go with the computer…and they smooshed together…damn delete key and page up/down aren’t where they are supposed to be
When songs lyrics and titles become sayings
Ever since “whoops there it is” You dumb asses that listen to the radio and hear the song 12,945 times get it embedded in your head and then spout out song titles and lyrics and try to make them everyday vernacular
Jay Z got his Swagger back…Grown and Sexy…idiots talkin bout “Right Thurr”…I Wish JT woulda left sexy alone
Double nicknames for kids
Fukn Ray Ray , Man Man, damn Ty Ty…white people don’t do that you ever hear some white lady in the store talkin bout “Zach Zach get over here!” or “yeah little Si Si (Simon) took his first steps”
The Nipple Double Standard
I know as a man I ADORE Women’s breasts…especially the nipple and areola 🙂
But what the fuk makes them so damn special? You cannot show them on TV or in public
Yet they are fine on fashion runways…never mind that
On TV they will blurr out THE NIPPLE! Whole ass breast out and they put a little (fucked up pencil eraser smudge) over the nipple…you might as well show the whole thing then!
What is it about the Nipple that will blow the world up?! You see fat men with breasts bigger than a woman’s head and the flat chested women can’t go shirtless
Someone need to explain that.
When you get that GREAT position in the bed and about to fall asleep and one of two things happen:
1. The Alarm goes off
2. You have to use the bathroom
1. The Alarm goes off2. You have to use the bathroomBe all tossin and turnin, then you get that ONE position:
Perfect blanket snuggle
Hand between your knees
Ass poked out
Back feelin good
ALARM!
or you have to lay there and argue with yourself that you don’t have to use the restroom THAT bad maybe you can fall back asleep and use it when you wake
because what happens? You get up and use it and you NEVER get that position back…and now you count down till when its time to get up
OR
You FINALLY get it back and then…
ALARM!
The Phrase “Me Personally”
That just sounds dumb every. single. time. someone says it…”Well me Personally” Yeah you fukwad, I see who’s talking.
The Double Kiss
So damn annoying when I see people with the wack ass fake ass double cheek kiss. Who is that for? Its pretentious and dumb looking
..you ever notice that the men where it’s custom actually kiss and women just fake it and rub cheeks and kiss the air?
Hmmmmm
When you’re at work and have gas
MAN! You had a super cheesy oniony ass chili burger dog last night and your stomach is doing the Crank Dat
No one is around and you let it go in your office or cube and as soon as you do THAT’S when someone has to come in with a question
Be having to play it off; like you were about to leave your workspace and continue the convo in the hallway or something
…hoping that ish don’t follow you lol If it do you gotta play it off like “you smell that?”
Same for elevators! You chillin…no one there but you and you let it RIP then allasudin someone is getting on the ‘vator
You’re stuck…unless you think quick and give the person the look like “WHEW! you shoulda seen the guy that just got off”
