80’s Toys Randomness

December 26, 2012


The 80s were the greatest decade for just about anything pop culture … especially toys, I defy you to find a better assortment of wonderfulness
kids theses days don’t even play any more let along have great toys to occupy their minds … we had no hand helds, no internet, barely had video games … all we needed was a few figures a board game or two and our imagination
I think randomly …

Was it really easy bake? Seems like cake by light bulb was NOT the quickest way to the finish

You’d take the light brite … put the pegs in where it says the color and then you’re done, problem was that was it … you could never do that particular one again

Slot cars and race tracks were dope, until you realized you spent more time putting the cars back on the track than actually watching them race

I don’t think the WWF figures would’ve been as much fun if they hand bendable joints


Why the big wheel was called Green Machine? Why weren’t other color machines available?

Castle Greyskull at best was a carrying case for He Man … the figures barely fit through the trap door upstairs

So Human babies grew from a garden of cabbage …. ok.

Chuck Norris and The Karate Kommandos … before all the Chuck Norris jokes … the toys were a joke tho

chuck norris toyschuck-norris-karate_corvette

She Ra should’ve been more muscular … Tee La was more Diesel than that chick

… and Grubby was … what exactly?

Jacks and Hula Hoops were entertaining … try that on kids now.

The Rock lords … Tonka should’ve stuck to Trucks
Ooooh look I have … a … rock.

Rock Lords

What if Gargamel met Strawberry Shortcake and her crew? It would’ve been a wrap!

Hot wheels or Matchbox?

When Super Powers toys came out do you even remember Marvel figures? Like did they exist?


Shouldn’t it have been Hologram and The Jems?

And who designated those guys Masters of the Universe?

No way Rainbow Brite was straight right??

I never had one but ZOIDS were dope … I would’ve made something to kill all of my other toys I’m sure

No clue why Madballs were so dope … they were though


Speak and Spell or See and Say?

Where were the Go Boots supposed to “Go” anyway? … f’n Cop-Tor and Cy-Kill

No one played with StarCom figures on purpose

All I wanted in life was to shoot my fists off like Shogun warriors


I could never get into TMNT toys … the cartoon? Sure the Movie? Fine … The Video Game? Hellls yeah! The Toys came out when I was getting close to being over toys

The best was that one kid who had a GI Joe battle ground play set his father built in the basement

Proportionally speaking … those were huge marbles and the Hippos should’ve choked and died.

Not sure why The Inhumanoids existed.

If you owned the Police Academy toys, they were probably your only friends

police acad

When you left the Play Doh open and it would get all dry and salty … ewwww.
That’s when you threw it at people. (After you tried to revive it by running water over it)

Big Foot or The Animal?

I had that McDonalds Rubiks Cube … had all the menu items on it.


The Shirt Tales would’ve crushed The Get Along Gang!

No one actually had Robotix … well I did, I made me some things! they moved then I made some more

Once Transformers had Beat Wars and Headmasters they were no longer cool and you shouldn’t have been playing with them … lame.

The coolest of the cool used the M.U.S.C.L.E guys as erasers on their pencils at school


You had the BEST catalog and you had the Hills catalog … nothing was better

We were very trusting kids … sure I’ll mail out for a GI Joe that may or may not exist … and wait for months for it to come

Hey! Ima play with these action figures that rode gaint insects … these Sectaurs are the fun

Visionaries I thought were cool … but they came out at the wrong time, aint nobody have time for those when there were GI Joes to beg for!


Every He-Man figure’s legs looked like they just had explosive diarrhea

I use to make transformers with my legos … they were basically my redshirts for missions

Seemed like every kid had 12,573 Star Wars toys … and they were all different and all loose or broken lol
… Only the cream of the crop had the Darth Vader carrying case tho


The 80s were the greatest decade seriously only then could you have Food Fighters and Banyard Commandos ….

The Food Fighters were for weird kids … period.

Barnyard Commandos were for psychopaths
(Private Side O’Bacon, Captain Tusker Chitlins, General Hamfat Lardo …wow lol)


Galoob was a company name lol

… and you’d think that all the black action figures would be made by Hasbro

What loser had any of these toys and kept them sealed?!
… Even if your family were rich enough to buy two of each, who asked for two of each? Better get me He-Man and that Snuggle Box Blue Faker Dad!

The GREATEST thing about the Transformers was when you got a toy you got the fold out of all the other toys in the line
You’d be like I want this one and that one and who’s that? And He wasn’t on the cartoon
…and never got any of them lol


(Double click for the Full screen Glory)

1985 Autobots

1985 Decepticons

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  • http://twitter.com/ShareefJackson Shareef Jackson (@ShareefJackson)

    Dope post, brings me back. I don’t remember the Barnyard Commandos but one dude looks like a Mayor McCheese ripoff. They might need to battle.

    Madballs were dope cause they were bouncier than a tennis ball. So you could play wall ball / red butt with them and it was a little more unpredicatblae

  • http://twitter.com/chapmanrunner Mr. Serious (@chapmanrunner)

    “Only the cream of the crop had the Darth Vader carrying case tho” I was one of those who had it. Case was dope but the more I opened and closed mine, the more figures fell from their slots. But who cares, it was Darth Vader!

    Great post as always!

  • Lamar the Revenger

    You want a Darth Vader carrying case? I can get you one.. See, nearly all the kids I knew that collected Star Wars figures (including an uncle of mine) had the case. I will ignore your Gobots & RockLords comments. He-Man diarrhea comment was good.

  • Davenappy

    There were Marvel figures! There were figures based on the Secret Wars limited series! They were awesome! The vehicles were lame, but the figures were pretty cool.

  • Howie

    Castle Greyskull may have been too small for the MOTU but it made a great base for my Terrordrome-less Cobras. No idea who the Go-Boots were but I dug the Go-Bots 🙂

    Yeah Star Wars were the breakin’est damn toys ever. Maybe everyone played with them too hard. But somehow the fragile-ass rubber band-filled GI Joes broke less often.

    Why should it have been Hologram & the Jems?

    • eclectik

      I think those were Canadian Robots
      Because it was really all Synergy … she shouldve gotten top billing

  • HowardtheDeck

    LJN wrestlers absolutely were better because they had no articulation. Today’s wrestling figures suck

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