I can’t stand: More @ 11

September 18, 2008

 

You know what I can’t stand?

The News

First off I dont like the new cuz it’s annoying and I dont care…esp since I’m not from this area and I can’t relate
BUT I cannot stand the “You may love your Orange Juice…but more than your own life?? …We’ll have the story at 11″
Wait. What?
Or
“Waking up in the morning just got dangerous…we’ll tell you why at 11″
I’m like damn doom and gloom and then it’s find out why you’re gonna die in 8 hours…tell me now!
And WHY is the news coming on so damn late? 11 a damn o clock?

Spending money…NOTHING I want

I Love to shop…the only thing that makes me feel just as good is Football and Hey nanner Nanner
What I can’t stand is havin a pocket or Debit or Credit Card fulla spendin money…hit all my stores and they have NOTHING I want
Let me be broke and they have the whole Fall eclectik wardrobe on sale 98% off with a free HDTV and Handjob by Rochelle Aytes
I have a coule of hundred burnin a hole in my pocket…only thing they got is bedazzled Hammer pants and Snake Skin Crocks

When there’s a police car on the side of the road that has already pulled someone over…cars slow down

It’s Bad enough people act a fool when there’s a cop on the road and everyone slows the hell down and drives behind them
Cuz God forbid they pass them…fukers
But The Police already has someone ove r on the side…lights flashin they’re all up in their window
Why are YOU slowing down…like he/she’s going to be 1/2 way into their ticket and see you in your Toyota Corolla and be like
“Oh Eff ewe” I gotta go get THEM!

People that smile all the time

I dont know they just look like they’re up to something…or just creepy
All Grinny McGrinnerton style…what are you so damn Smirky face about…all happy.
I dont wanna see all of that….I just came from shoppin and there was nothing I wanted.

Cupcake bottoms

Cupcakes are stupid and I dont eat them.
What I can’t stand is the old school homemade joints that come in the foldy paper and the bottom of the cupcake has the ridges…thats nasty
But even other cupcakes…the top is all you care about
And what’s the difference between Muffins and Cupcakes?
And you dont make Cupcakes in no damn cup
wait…what?

People that sneeze all loud

I’m just mindin my eclectik buisness and alladasuddin it’s AHHPEWCHSWSA!
Stop bringin attention to your stupid self…it doesn’t have to be that loud.

Dance movies

Damnit with the dance movies!
They are aLL either: The White Girl that wants to dance and be accepted by black people OR The Black person that overcomes “the odds” to …dance.

Personally I think dancing as a whole is stupid (but I also watch So you think you can dance, Americas Best dance crew, and I’m in love with dancers bodies)
But How many Honey, Rize, Bring it ons, You got Served, Save the Last dance, Shall we dance, Stop the Yard, Step Up, Take the Lead ass movies do we have to endure?

Now Breaking 1 and 2 and Beat Street are cinematic classics and delightful…you talk about them and I’ma thump yo nose.

And I WILL admit Alba looked RIGHT in Honey and all the stomachs are seck-c but damnit man…get a new plot fukerz

 

When I have my mouth set on one thing to eat and cant get it.

Like I reallllly wanted some Taco Bell (Dont ask why…guess I wanted processed Soy Horse meat) I get in the vehicle drive to my local and there’sa big fence aroud it…it’s shut down
Or I just KNOW I got XYZ in the fridge and I get home and it aint there
OR when I order something (Pizza, Fast Food, To Go) and I get home and my order is wrong or it’s made all burnt or nasty style
OH and if they put some sauce or dressing or something and it spills over!? Food is ruined

Dry skin.

No! Like you’re chillin and you have the dry skin flakes on your forehead or eyebrow or somewhere (Cuz dont nobody tell you) and then you look in a mirror and be like
Awwww man I’ve been walkin around all crunchy
Or when you forget to put on lotion or dont put on enough and you walk around lookin like ASHford and Simpson

 

Chilly Willy

Eeeeeeevrybody likes them some Chilly Willy…cept me!
Chilly Willy is a punk!
This little twerp always starts some stuff and then gets mad when people call him on it or prevent him from fukn up some more
He’ll be hungry (cuz he dont have a job) then steal some fish and get mad and agitated when the guy takes his fish back
Smedly had to fly a plane to somewhere…Chilly is cutting holes in the runway to fish
Chilly is Hungry and Cold he breaks into Smedly’s place and Smedley kicks him out…but the jerk keeps breaking back and coming in
…he was a slore.
wait. what?

Why so much annimosity against a cartoon charater? lol

  • http://www.pajnstl.blogspot.com patrice

    lol that annoys me as well 2 Stay Tuned.. I change the channel f u.

    it’s a conspiracy @ spending money

  • http://thek-spot.blogspot.com/ Keli

    If I watch the news…I watch the 9 o’clock news…don’t have time to wait until 10…even then…the news is dumb…I have already read most of the information on the internet anyhoo…

    No bedazzled hammer pants? I think that would look hot!

    Cupcakes are good…well at least my cupcakes are. 😉

    Now…I don’t think people can help how they sneeze…stop being so mean.

    Horse meat? I thought it was kangaroo…oh well…
    I always check my fast food, pick up…whatever it is, I check it before I leave the establishment…too picky not to.

    Lawd…I could not tell you the first thing about Chilly or a Willy.

  • http://thegayte-keeper.blogspot.com/ thegayte_keeper

    like u was reading my mind

  • http://Anubis2kx.blogspot.com Charles

    See…cops in VA Beach be trickin you…they’ll be on the side of the road with the lights on like they just pulled someone over and get you with the ‘gotcha bitch’ move. I hate when I have money and can’t find ish either. And eff the news…if I don’t read about it online, then that shit won’t important. And Chilly Willy is a damn bum…I used to eff with him til you pointed out his character flaws

  • http://www.southsidesistas.blogspot.com introspectivegoddess

    Well I so seldomly have money so they usually always have what I’m looking for when I dont have a dime to buy it with.

    The news is fucking depressing….I know they say you are supposed to know whats going in the world but damn…

    I made cupcakes last night….they got maxed I barely got any….but we dont use the papers..just stick it straight in the cupcake pan

    Dance movies usually have horrible plots…and mediocre acting…it gets to be a bit redundant after awhile

    I hate having dry skin too..its irritating….one time I used those oil blot things too much and had white spots all over my face…had to lotion my face it was so dry

    I vaguely remember chilly willy….I just remember the cute voice….but if you say he was a bum then he was a bum!

  • lovnlife

    I really heart that picture!

    Doom and gloom. LOL

    Smirky faces get on my nerves too. You can’t possibly be that happy. Go Away!

    Can you pop lock like Turbo and Ozone? VLOG!

    LOL. I’m glad you recognize the animosity. Chilly Willy is not in e’s Top 10.

    That poll question is soooo wrong! Whose parents are teaching about oral? yuck

  • I

    “Charles Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
    See…cops in VA Beach be trickin you…they’ll be on the side of the road with the lights on like they just pulled someone over and get you with the ‘gotcha bitch’ move.”

    LMAO! So funny and so true! I know many ppl that have gotten tricked by the police in ATL this way….

  • http://skinnyblackgirl.wordpress.com Skinny Black Girl

    Hey now! I’m a loud sneezer. Sometimes the shit just can’t be helped.

    Hate the “More at 11” bit too. That’s why I don’t watch the local news. Any pertinent local issues can be found on the Internet. Miss me with all that “Why cell phones affect sperm quality” type stuff.

    Ugh. WHY WHY WHY do people slow down when they see a cop’s pulled someone over!!

    Cupcakes are that deal. You trippin. Matter fact, looking at that pic makes me want a cupcake right now.

    Giving people genuine smiles creates good karma. Doubt my happy if you want. Don’t ask me for a loan when I’m a millionaire. Lol.

  • http://sheneeds.blogspot.com Sheena

    I rarely wathc hte news anymore, I’d just rather read it online.

    People slow down cause they are nosy as hell. I hate that mess.

    I worl with two ladies that smile constantly, i swear they are on Uppers. Creepy!!

    I love cupcakes, I actually baked some last night, they were delicious.

  • http://joicemaduaka.blogspot.com/ Joice Maduaka

    Ashford and Simpson LMAO

  • http://www.msfbuddin.blogspot.com mspuddin

    the thing about shopping is that when you don’t have any money you find hella stuff that you want. then when you are on a mission with money to buy some stuff you cant find shit.

  • cinnamini

    “…98% off with a free HDTV and Handjob” though? lmao

    The difference between muffins & cupcakes is icing… der… surprised you didn’t know that 😉

    I refuse to watch “How She Move” ’cause ain’t no damn ‘s’ on “Move”. It annoys the hell out of me that no one that had anything to do with that movie found that title unacceptable! Yes, Breakin & Beat Street were cinematic classics. Matter fact, I think I’ma dress up as Turbo aka Boogaloo Shrimp for Halloween! LMAO

    Damn! Why you go hard on Chill Will like that?!? Dude ain’t even been on the air in at least 15 years. He was a grimey, leechin’ ass, punk ass bird now that you mention it. I’ma slap that small, stupid beenie off his head if I ever see his short ass. Wait, is your anger contagious or something lol?

    Tell ’em why you mad, son!
    Love this post

  • http://www.dariustwilliams.blogspot.com Darius T. Williams

    Hilarious. And you know – I’ve NEVER known the difference between a muffin and cupcake – never!

  • http://www.yazmar.com Yazmar

    Yo E..Your ass is still crazy…lol
    I too wonder why folks slow down when seeing cop cars that have over someone else….lol

  • http://rawdawgb.blogspot.com rawdawgbuffalo

    i dont get the dance stuff either and them cup cakes look yummy

  • http://www.5thtimesthecharm.blogspot.com jackie

    I’m sorry but I’m a loud sneezer. I’ve tried to keep it quiet and I end up feeling like something’s gonna bust…..sorry!! Still makin’ me laugh E….

  • http://www.renaissanceblackwoman.blogspot.com Eb

    I love cupcakes… there’s so cute… I usually peel all the frosting off because they usually plaster enough for an entire cake onto that little portion

    but you you wanna know what I cant stand… damn yahoo fantasy because the scoring isn’t real time… so damn dumb… uuugggghhh!!

  • http://www.idontknowitsjustmia.com Mia

    You’re a hater!!! What did little ole Chilly Will ever do to you???

  • cinnamini6

    I feel you on Chilly Willy. That’s exactly how I feel about Jerry. Tom would just be minding his business and Jerry would come along and start some sh*t.

  • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com muze

    your posts always make me laugh out loud. lol.

    too funny.

    lmao @ bedazzled hammer pants.

    i LOVE to shop. there is no such thing as not seeing something i want. lol.

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