After a 1 year Hiatus, it’s back …FartCon! FartCon 2013 was a blast and i couldnt WAIT to set my schedule for this year’s events! I’ve been saving my money for a yar to get some collectibles; without further ado here are the events and booths Im looking forward to checking out …
Wednesday, July 15
8:00pm Preview: Some like it Bot
The latest dating reality show, featuring: Rosie the robot
10 Eligible bachelors try to win the heart? of the world’s most famous robotic maid, watch as they go on dates, battle with Dyson vacuums, and sip chilled 40 weight; who will get the Cogswell cog at the end? Set your DVRs!
9:20pm Preview: Behind the music: Grandmaster B
10:00pm Trailer and Panel: Middle Age Wolf
Follow Scott Howard going through a Mid Wolf crisis, Pamela has left him, he flamed out in the European basketball league (Team hated him for clogging up the drains in the shower) he’s now back in the states, working as a barista in SoHo trying to get his life back on track
Michael J. Fox
Thursday, July 16
9:00am Fart-Con How to: Telling Secrets (Roundtable)
The Creative minds of DC and Marvel join a large discussion detailing how they eliminate secret identities in the first two minutes of a movie or television episode … or the first two pages of a comic book to effectively ruin multiple story arcs and all the drama and suspense you grew up with.
10:00am Netflix Original: (Preview)
This series follows 4 women with different backgrounds:
Birdie: Former McDonaldland spokesbird who was dishonorably discharged from the Air Force and has been an air traffic controller and recently head chef at an airport cinnabon
Topanga: Retired porn star (“Girl MEATS World”, “Fresh off the Scrot”)
Judy Jetson: Recent Divorcee (Jet Screamer) and mother of 2
Princess Peach: Dethroned and trying to rebuild her life
The four women were recruited to a super-secret task force with clearance to kill, they quickly become friends and after they come back from missions always return to their NY loft and enjoy a box of wine
New this Fall: Weird Task Force or WTF, they are rebuilding their love lives and killing terrorists only on Netflix
[CANCELLED] Trailer from the studio that brought you Sharknado; Koala Killtown
11:00am The Cat’s Meow [Sitcom] (Preview and Roundtable)
After the battle on third earth ended Panthro wanting a new challenge became partners in a sports bar with fellow feline Riff Raff, former leader of the Cardiac Cats; hijinks and hilarity ensues as the two owners but heads over how the business should be ran, who gets dibs on the hot women that come in, and more! With bar regulars: Wordsworth Fresh off tour with MC Skat Kat, Lynxo the blind pervert, and Uncle Pecos, there’s never an empty glass or dull moment
12:00pm My Little Pony: Bros before hoes (Special)
This 3-part mini series features the trials and tribulations of Pinkie Pie, Apple Jack, and Rainbow Dash as they face ridicule from the other ponies for picking real life brownies over their Friendship is magic counterparts …
1:00pm Black Like us (Documentary)
Watch as the cameras follow: Black Panther, Black Vulcan, Black Manta, and Rachel Dolezal
Detailing a story of African American struggle in the Super Hero Community
As a bonus hear Rachel’s track on the Straight outta Compton movie soundtrack featuring Ice Cube
3:00pm Konami Booth: Fatal Facts (Fighting Game)
The girls from east land finally get their fighting game on PS4, XB1, and steam devices
Playable characters include
Blair – Magic: Entitlement; Weapon: Beaded Battle Brush
Natalie – Magic: Enchantment; Weapon: Assorted Baked Goods farts
Jo – Magic: Annoyance; Weapon: Oil Slick from hair
Tootie – Magic: Teleportation; Weapon: Rocket Skate lasers
Mrs Garrett – Magic: Arnold and Willis summoning; Weapon Battle Armor Bouffant
With DLC coming!
George Burnett with successful Time Travel
Geri Tyler with Cerebral Palsy pulses and Bad Joke ability
Molly Parker with Invisibility
Edna’s edibles inferno stage
Friday, July 17
9:00am Marvel: The Reboot’s on the other foot (Lecture)
A lecture where Marvels top writers and execs explain the process of taking storylines and events that were already done and doing them again the same way to make new #1 books
11:00am Walt Disney Animation studios presents: West Coast Avengers (Cartoon)
Not the reboot you are thinking! In a shocking and groundbreaking development Marvel’s studios lined up California (and Seattle’s) legendary rappers and formed an incredible team up!
Young MC (super speed as he doesn’t stand idle whilst bustin a move)
Sir Mix A Lot, (summons the power of the backsides of nearby women)
Tone Loc (morphs into C Bear and mauls people)
Too Short (Calls everyone a bitch and lowers their self esteem)
Guest sidekick: E-40 (powers of gibberish)
1:00pm 20th Century Fox Presents (Movie Trailer)
Meet Eleanor, Jeanette, and Brittany former pop stars who are recently on hard times, to make end meet they entered the world of exotic dance
New this summer
Brittany, Jeanette, Eleanor, the Chippettes star in ChipTease
2:00pm Comic Announcement
In a historic crossover DC and Marvel studios combine to pair one of Marvels most underrated Heroes with one of DCs forgotten foes to present:
Spider Ham and Egg Head in …. The Uncanny Ham & Eggs!
4:30pm MOTU: What Era is it?
There are Swords, Horses, Castles, Magic … and Robot, Computers and Time Travel?
Join the roundtable to discuss the Future, Past, Ancient, and New Tech-ness of the MOTU – universe
Why does Man-At-Arms have a Mace AND a laser gun?
Who cares if Castle Grey Skull’s drawbridge is open when you can just fly over the top and drop in?
There’s a King, Queen, Robot, Magician with no face or body, and no internet?
If you have flying machines with missiles and lasers, WHY are you still riding horses?
8:00pm George RR Martin discusses: House of Pancakes
Where the families representing I Hop, Denny’s, Bob Evans, Waffle House, and Cracker Barrel (Syrup Canister, Daenerys Margarine, Raisin Bran Stark) battle for a reservation on the throne at the House of Pancakes
Saturday, July 18
9:00am Disney presents: Melted (Movie preview)
Fresh off the success of Frozen, Disney is back at it again! Using their marvel catalog of stars this summer enjoy: Melted! Starring:
Firestar (Angelica Jones) Microwave Radiation powers
Human torch (Johnny storm) Pyrokinesis
Heat miser (Controls all the warm weather)
Kimmy Gibbler (Super hot fumes from her feet)
Plot twist: 2 of the cast are responsible for burning down Ednas Edibles!!!
11:00am WWE Presents: WWE ShaqDown! (Video Game)
This controversial game’s main event features a 10 Man Battle Royal, what’s the twist? It’s Shaquille O’Neal vs 9 developmental wrestlers all with Down syndrome!
Either play as Shaq and throw all the special needs characters over the top rope, or link up with your friends to try and take the giant NBA champion down
WWE ShaqDown is for all ages!
2:00pm Sony Pictures preview (Movie)
Follow Smurfs Brainy, Jokey, and Baker as they smoke a ton of marijuana, dis obey Poppa Smurfs rules, and humiliate each other; until they stubble into a bad drug deal with Gargamel and Mushroom Mafia
On the run from both what a high speed High octane High off drugs event
Brainy Smurf. Jokey Smurf. Baker Smurf star in: 3 Apples High
3:30pm GI Joe Films present: Freedom, Polly, Timber, and Junkyard in Sidekick Sober House
6:00pm Miramax preview (Movie)
The Ultimate Buddy Cop Adventure!
He’s a small town criminal, turned informant, now parading as one of the top detectives on the force
He’s overcome a ton of obstacles to climb the ranks as one of the deadliest officers of the law
Verne Troyer and Stevland Morris star in: Small Wonder
FartCON exclusive Previews, figures and collectors items:
Hasbro presents: Transformers Headmasters (Reboot)
The Headmasters were a popular sub group of characters that could detach their heads while transforming, this reboot however features all the characters of the 1991 sitcom Herman’s Head
Herman’s Headmasters Transformers
Super Exclusive: God and Jealousy (Bobcat Goldthwait and Leslie Nielsen)
Sideshow will be unveiling their Growing Pains series with a photo realistic Josh Andrew Koenig as Richard “Boner” Stabone
Rumor is a Mathew Perry as Sandy variant will also be for sale.
Kreo: Sanford and Son
Fred, Lamont, Grady, Bubba, Esther, Officer Smitty, Woody the Wino, Rollo, Juilo, more to be announced!
You’ll be shelling out $125 for the Junk yard set
Special blind bags have a Blind Mello Jelly Bubba Variant Figure and Julio’s Goat!
Alice, Vera, Mel, Flo, Tommy, Henry, and Carrie Sharples
Be on the lookout for the Flo Battle pack which features a Alternate Flo, Belle, and Jolene Hunnicut
In line with the S&S Junkyard, the Mel’s Diner playset will be $125
Special blind bags have a Sam Butler Alice Variant Figure as well as a Flo with a small plate of grits to kiss
Mobile gaming: Turds with friends
Badminton 2K16, Lawn darts DLC
Podcast: Pop Culture Rescure with @eclectik and @HowardTheDeck
Super Glow Worm Battle Bots
Capcom Vs. 90210
Choose epic battles never before possible!
Blanka vs. Dylan
Evil Ryu vs. Nat on the Peach Pit stage
Balrog vs. Andrea
Vega vs Kelly
Cammy vs Hilary Swank as Carly Reynolds
Steampunk Kids Incorporated
The kids are back … and boy do they look weird.
MOTUC GreySkull Greats … Vault collection
Bubble Butt She-Ra
Queen Meth Mouth Marlena
Ball-Sac (Hairy Rock Lord Varian)
Tit-Tee (Most well endowed woman in the land of Bewbalon with her sidekicks Ari-Ola and Mo-tar Boat)
Toe-Cheez (Eternia’s podiatrist )
Slunt (Snake Mountains lady of the night)
Kut-Co Eternia’s knives salesman
If you’ve ‘heard’ of any other panels or exclusives feel free to leave them in the comments
see you there!