I DID say I was thinking about doing a post of pet peeves … turns out it’s real easy; in less than a hour I have material… what doesn’t annoy me? lol

I cant stand ….

Coughing

Like people just stand there and cough and not even raise their stupid hand to cover their diseased spewing face
OR walk past and cough dropping off their fukn lung butter like I want to walk into their cloud of SARS

Food Service

Like I’m at a fast food place at the drive thru or at a restaurant and the fuktard with my cup/glass with the palm of their hands over top of the opening … dropping all kinds of unwashed shit cringles all in my Sweet tea (Or Long Island)
… like hold my joint around the side … so now I’m supposed to put my lips around the rim of that cup you just palm fukked? …kouttahere

…”Do you have…?”

Fast Food places do a fair bit of advertising … commercials, Billboards … internet mainly for new items or limited edition items since the menu basically never changes
…says something for consistency.
So WHY is it that people will stand at a counter or Drive thru speaker and utter these words “Do you have …?” Look shit nose
1. You are AT the speaker WITH the menu board … what they have is RIGHT THERE!
2. You decided to go to the Fast Food restaurant so THAT means you were in the mood for a particular item from THAT particular establishment

No one just rides around aimlessly and say hey I never heard of Burger King … lemme go see if they HAVE . FUKN . BURGERS!!!

…speaking of Fast Food ordering

There are few things more annoying/frustrating than being behind that ONE car/SUV that has 2 people in the front and like an adult and 2 kids in the back
All you see is the person at the speaker say one thing… look to the side… another order…look to the back… another order…look to the back again… another order
Have a game plan if you’re going to take your whole damn tribe to Wendy’s for an “I canít fukn cook treat” … and what ALWAYS happens?
They get to the window and the order is NEVER right and then you just see bags going back and forth from window to window
…mannn all I wanted was a milkshake.

The Escalator

People behind me on the escalator that feels that it’s just not moving fast enough so they are compelled to walk PAST me so they can get to the top faster than everyone else
…well look maybe they have to use the restroom … forgot their credit card at a store … left their infant girl at Popeyeís in the food court by mistake …sure cool
BUT when they come from the bottom, make everyone move a side, walk PAST me to then stop and ride the rest of the way I want to scoop out their larynx with a seafood fork

Driving

So I’m driving … and someone is getting outran by paraplegic lab mice so I donít lay on the horn or flash headlights … nope; I wait see if they are going to speed up and calmly switch lanes and get around them and get in front of them
Then what happens? I look in my rear view and as soon as I get in front of them they SWITCH lanes! Get over there in the front place F-wad!

…break lights

Anytime I’m driving I have to deal with traffic lights … I understand them, there are typically 3 colors… they regulate traffic.
Way to often I’m behind another car or two at a light (That’s red) <–means stop, then the light turns green and I STILL see break lights in front of me!!
Look, it’s not about impatience… it’s this mere fact:

When you are out driving, you are out to GO …to DRIVE… so when the light turns red you stop. Thatís the ONLY reason you stopped SO since you’re out there to GO and DRIVE when that light is no longer RED… Fukn GO!

…the phone

Who doesn’t have hands – free these days? Everytime I drive pass someone that’s driving like an idiot I look over and they are holding their stupid flip phone up to their stupid flip face
…leant over; How can you NOT multitask voice and foot movements?

PLUS

Speaking of phones … what’s with the dumb hold the phone sideways in front of your face to talk routine?
When did THAT become an acceptable way to use a cell phone? You look dumb … it’s not a damn Walkie-Talkie
They dont even have it on speaker!

Customer Service

Look, you work at the register … you may or may not be fine with that but is it too hard to say “May I help you”? What’s with running everything together ‘Meyielpu’? I dunno why that annoys me it just does … or when I’m the ONLY person in line and the fukstick behind the counter announces “I can help the next customer in line”
…sometimes I just want to turn and leave

The WORST is that ONE Cashier that you can tell doesn’t want to work … you’re up next and all of a sudden they step away fromt he desk for DUMB LONG … or alladasuddin they start shufflin papers and going in their desk for absolutely nothing

…OH and then they go over to a Cashier that IS working and star shootin the breeze; I’m like …”ass. get over here!”

…speaking of which; this happened a couple of months ago:
So I’m at the Polo Store (The greatest store on earth) I have 2 items … there are 5 cash registers … a worker is at every one and every one has a customer
…cept one.
There is no one in line I walk up to the register that was open and the lady says “Sir the line starts over there”

…I look back (At the nobody is in line – line) and look back at her … I say oookay turn around and walk the 3 feet to where the line starts – turn around and she looks up at me and says “Are you all set?”
I look at her and say “no. not at all” … put the stuff down and walk out the store.

eyeh8people.

At work

I have an office … in my office I work. Everyone knows where my office is … more importantly everyone knows exactly what I look like
So WHY EVERY Fukn TIME someone walks pass my office they have to whip their stupid head to look in my office and at me
It’s ME! Same guy! Doing work! Keep your stupid eyes forward!
…what’s worse is they come BACK and LOOK AGAIN! I am NOT that interesting!

…oh and hey ass clowns, just because we make eye contact doesn’t mean speak to me … you just saw me … we just talked … nod your head and K.I.M

Clothes

As a guy that loves clothes/fashion and loves to shop it’s bad enough that all fashion and stores cater to women … there’s no love for men but what’s worse is now
EVERY brand as gone to the “Heroin – fit” the Slim and Skinng and Custom Fit Euro crap … I’m no fatty but I’m also not built like Animal Muppet

Women you may like men in Skinny jeans and tight-ass shirts w/ Man Nipp-Pokes … but I can’t rock with #team-smedium
Even IF I had that mystical six pack I wouldn’t rock the Scrot-Choppers

Uggs.

Everytime I see a woman in Uggs it just reads “I’ve given up” … “I dont care anymore” They are ugly and make you look and seem lazy … they are always dirty too
…but as with everything if you are REALLY attractive it can be overlooked (maybe)

…Black

There’s a war going on outside…no one is safe son; and it’s the Black Khakis war… them joints get Ashy with the Quickness!
I hate having the dope Khaks and then it looks like I’ve been doing the Flynt Flossy in them