The season dropped on Friday, I was done Saturday … (dont judgge me) anyway, these are the things I think (Not a review, just my random thoughts) …
Will the mother give up because the baby is dead
Will pronstache get out?
Is Alex Dead?
How ungrateful were the guards
I hated Lolly; she was so annoying … the crazy turn didn’t help
I couldn’t care less about the backstories of Boo or The other girl, though hers was kinda interesting
Red is great
There were incredibly fluorescent pink nipples on the show this season
I’m one of the only people who does not enjoy Taystee … I can barely tolerate Cindy
I still don’t quite understand how Alex got back, Piper called her PO but, what was she doing?
Daya bounced back quickly after the baby
The people who took over the jail was useless, the whole storyline was dumb
Since when was Caputo sexing the old warden? She moved and was doing something else, he called to threaten to blackmail her then they were bumpin uglies
So Crazy Eyes (They don’t call her that anymore I noticed) never been with a girl, then why was she chasing piper so hard last year
Crazy Eye’s new chick was corny … I could do without her
The Story she wrote though was one of my favorite things about the show #TimeHumpChronicles
They have a ton of freedom in jail
I wonder if Lorna’s husband and crew killed Christopher
She really traded sex for a sex pack of soda?
Berdie wasn’t really necessary … or sexy for that matter (I needed some eye candy)
Chang was a star this season, she was hilarious, however her back story was … eh.
I like how Piper has turned into full-fledged criminal … and lesbian
LOL Felonious Spunk!
Still don’t quite get why Red closed up the transport hole … I would’ve crushed it
Funny seeing Mike Birbiglia on the show … interesting he was never funny on the show
We got almost zero sideboob (The band) that sucked
…speaking of which Caputo’s backstory … damn! Why? and then well, he deserved that
Pennsatucky had a flashback and backstory … it went about as expected, shoutouts to Mountain Dew
The rapey guard stuff was wack; they could’ve given her a boyfriend or just left it alone
The Norma flashback was awful
The Norma is Jesus stuff was hilarious until they just went too far with Leanne
That Big Boo Makeover … ugh
…cant believe she chickened out on the broomstick
Can’t wait to see Martha Stewart/Paula Deen lady next season
I liked the Breaking bad mention
When Marisol saw that she’d be sewing like her mother THAT was funny
Nicky’s flashback was … odd; I just didn’t care about most of the flashbacks, they felt forced
Poussey is such a sad sack … who cares; I guess she and Soso will be something now?
She really just waited at the bus station? Stop it
Why not let Red and Healy get it poppin?
Healy had the worst “wife” ever
Ruby Rose was damn sexy
NO WAY that was a sanitary tattoo
Seems like all the stuff with Sophia was WAY overdue … like that should’ve been season 1 stuff
… the fact that the rest of the black girls bailed on her though, wack
Brook Soso was the only one really doing that hideous underwear justice
Who cares about Gloria or Sophia’s sons? Boooo
The scene when Piper’s brother was talking the underwear and the things he knew … gold
Didn’t understand why Nicky stole and rehid the drugs, I mean she wasn’t going to do them … wonder if she’s coming back
So happy there was no Larry
Seems like all the religious families on the show were terrible
Everyone wanting Kosher meals was funny
I cannot stand Poussey … I don’t like the character, the acting, or her looks but she’s twitters favorite
The backstory with the track girl didn’t help me like her either, she’s wack
Cindy converting was dumb.
No one tried to swim to safety tho?
My Five Favorite Characters
- Stella (Beause she was hot)
Chang (Because she was funny and sat up watching TV on a phone in jail)
Blanca (She finally talked and everything she said was funny)
Crazy Eyes (For Time Hump Chronicles … I hated her last season)
Maritza (Because, well look at her)
Five Least Favorite Characters
- Poussey (I dont like the character or her acting)
Healy (Because he was a sad sack for no reason)
Taystee (She’s just corny)
Leanne (For ruining Norma Jesus)
Lolly (She was creepy, annoying, and that voice)
I could probably keep typing forever about this season, but I will stop here … comment below or tweet me if you wish