ePSA: eclectik Guy Friend Theory

July 13, 2012

Presenting: eclectik’s “Guy friend theory”

I’ve always said it’s tough/hard/near impossible for males to make new male friends once they get past a certain age.

It’s my own eclectik theory.

See usually a guy’s friends…male friends are guys he met in grade school, High School, or College.
SOMETIMES you may get cool with a co-worker…but they are typically not as close (or cool) as the others.

Because it’s “gay” to try and hang with people you dont know/didn’t grow up with LOL

(“Gay” presented in quotation marks for effect and humor, i’m no phobe … or Phoebe … smelly cat)

Think about it…

  • How do guys meet?
  • Where do guys meet?
  • Where are guys at together where they have to talk to each other anymore?

No where.

School? You have to be there…you interact.


  • Gym: Nope, you dont talk to men there
  • Club: Nope, you’re tryin to get on dem bitches
  • Mall: Nope, who stops to talk to other guys
  • Bar: Not if there’s bitches there son!

…which brings me to the sports theory.

The only way males will interact with other males that they dont know is where sports are involved.

… And the type of sport, the team, and the interest/knowledge…is very important at that.

You’re at a bar and the game is on (and there’s no fine women there) you may talk to a guy about the game and sports…

If he’s the fan of the right or wrong team…if he knows what he’s talking about, and he doesnt say something stupid you MIGHT continue to talk to him
…but it doesnt go past that.

It’s not like  it’s hey…lets get together and watch another game sometime…or you should come over some time…we should go shoot pool or whatever…that’s “gay” for whatever reason
(Even if you dont agree personally, you have to abide by it being “Gay” from their point of view lol)

Now the addendum to that is if there’s a fight party or Super bowl party, or a get together involving people or whatever…you may let them know about that
…but even then the guy may not come if there’s no inference that dabitches are gonna be there OR if you dont seem ‘cool’ enough.

Which brings me to the one thing that no male will ever admit (cept me)…

If the guy doesnt look/seem like he can get women
…he will not befriend them.

As “Gay” as everything in male friend making seems to be…guys will not be friends with a guy that they think that women will think is ugly
UNLESS he sees that guy has a lot of female (fine female) friends.

Men dont “Check out” a guy…but they look at him…how he dresses, etc etc. if he doesnt seem like he can get women or whatever…Nah.
So gay and corny…but true. (and hilarious)


Ladies, men will never be friends with each other if you introduce them…if both were interested in you at any point in time.
They must do it themselves.

eclectik theory:

You’re at your place ladies…a guy is over (regardless if he’s a friend or your man) another guy comes over…say to bring your ‘Call me Maybe’ CD back
(Doesnt matter if he’s a friend or your man or what) If he comes over and you invite him in and say: “Hey Guy 1 this is Guy 2″
It’s all: ‘sup’ …they dont like each other OFF TOP!


If you invite them in and be like…”oh let me put this somewhere or let me go get something” and you leave them alone together
…say a game is on…or a movie…one guy would comment on it like “Damn I hate Kobe” or “This is that part right here” …the other guy would be like “Nah Kobe is the man/I hate him too” or “Yeah this is that movie seen it 5 times”
They are kickin it by the time you come back…men never want to be introduced to another man by a woman

Anyway…back to the man friend joint…
Once you get “Grown” a man just cannot do things he could do with guys that he could when he was younger if theres no women involved UNLESS it’s with people he grew up with or knew from way back when

My best friend? We could:

Watch DVDs
Sit up and talk shit all night
Play Madden
Argue Hip Hop
Drive around and play old school music and bullshit
Play Cards
Go to the mall and people watch and disrespect strangers lol

Whole buncha other stuff … no  women involved (even though women will come up and /or we’d be in the pursuit of women at all times) but that’s friend stuff

Outside of play madden…most of those things with a ‘New’ guy or friend is “Gay”
…watchin a movie…What would Riley say?

Plus with me…being a transplant (From another state) you don’t even have the be out and see people you use to know/went to school with and hang out thing…and the best friends are still in the home state
So it’s even worse..And the “New type of guy” that’s out these days is worse than the females

They are messy, haters, extra competitive for women attention…all that besides me, see … I’m a different type anyway.

I dont club…I’m not a bar fly (per-say) … Im not in the constant pursuit of ass

I’ma laid back guy…I’m good with a sports bar…shoot pool, play madden, talk 80s and 90s stuff or something. They don t make my type no more \o/

*record scratch*

NOW if Osi Umenyiora wants me to hang out with him, EFF everything I typed up there!




I get along better with women: We can talk clothes, Home design, Top Model, Runway…other women…they ask me why come men do XYZ etc etc.
If I could find a woman that played spades, scrabble and monopoly, Street Fighter, Tekken, and liked football, shopping, TV and movies… WHILE being sexy…I’d be golden LOL

Anywhoo…meeting men?

Women I dunno how you do it.

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  • coako

    but your twitter male friends??!! no?

    • eclectik

      Doesnt count … that whole post and that’s all you had to say? lol

  • coako

    i could comment on every single line but time is of essence …is it “gay” for a heterosexual man to befriend a gay guy?

    • eclectik

      Nope not at all … Gay guys are cool

  • Mountairy1979

    It is harder to get friends when you’re in your mid 30’s. Everyone is set in their ways.

    • eclectik


  • Benjamin

    I never noticed this but your right, even at 25 i’ll only interact with other dudes if sports is on

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