So I was having a convo about religion…see since I’m a heathen and stuff I have to ask you more Godly people

Okay…The Devil

First I asked what was the Devil’s name when he was an Angel…figured it wasn’t “Devil, Beelzebub, or the Prince of Darkness”
(Later confirmed it was Lucifer…I forgot that one)
But for the sake of the conversation I chose to call him “Steve” lol

So…Steve was an Angel that “fell from grace” right? Right.

MY question was…WHAT could he POSSIBLY have done to get kicked out of Heaven?

The short answer was “went against God’s wishes” that’s cool…I mean don’t piss off Big G right? Right

But DAMN! What could he have done?????

This happened before Adam and eve right? (Cuz the Devil was the serpent)

So…if there weren’t any muhfukas LITTERALLY…how bad could it have been?

No man…no woman…no universe…no inventions…no Earf! What did the Devil POSSIBLY fuk up if it wasn’t nuffin TO fuk up!?! He aint say nuffin bout God’s mother…he aint have one…Wasnt’ Jesus bashin he wasnt invented yet!

Hey…I’m no Devil apologist…I aint Pro-Evil…I’m just sayin lol

So THEN

Big G kicks Steve out of heaven…still aint no muhfukas…so…where did he go?
Aint no universe or solar system or nothing…he just left

You know how Heaven is supposed to be UP and Hell is supposed to be DOWN? Well…when it AINT nuffin..What is up and down? How you define the top and bottom of air?

Okay…so anyway

So now Steve gets his own spot (somehow) and he’s going to cause trouble

People are like The Devil didn’t learn his lesson and is still evil to this day…I say
When someone kicks you out for doing wrong when aint nothing existed…Id be a little bitter too

Like moms kicks me out the house for beating up my little brother when I’m the only child! lol

K, so THEN when God gets mad at people and they go against him he sends you to Hell…Steve’s spot
Right? Right.

Wait.

How you gon kick Steve out…he gets his own spot and then YOU gon send people over there??
If I were Steve I’d be all like “nuh unnn G, you don’t even like them why you send them over here? Plus we don’t even fuk with each other like that…I aint entertainin yo peoples”

So THEN

Adam and Eve…

You got Homeboy…then he makes the chick (GREAT invention by the way God! ewedaman)
And the garden…cool
THEN he makes a tree with some stuff and tells them they can have anything but the jump-offs of it.
Wait.

Why God set them up like that?

“Well people are allowed to have free will…he was testing them”

Great.

But why such a fuked up penalty? He’s God…slap on the wrist perhaps?
Why create them…then set them up like that??? That’s dirty

“The Devil did it…serpent and stuff”

Right. So How God gon make man and woman…the garden…set them up THEN allow the worst muhfuka EVER in the garden to fuk with his creation?

The DOUBLE set up!

I mean…THE WORST muhfuka…the guy that messed up when it wasn’t anything TO mess up!!!
How he get in anyway?
God shoulda been like “nope”

Or ATLEAST hi they were to have free will…he shoulda been like FLAG on the play…no fair Steve is here…that affects the free will…
Like Kick ball when they bounce it when they roll the ball….do over…do over…roll it slow

I’m not even gon TOUCH the Noah’s ark story…people actually believe it
Not to mention God got pissed and decided to Tsunami everybody’s face off cept this old ass man and his peoples

K NOW my other idea…

The Bible

Well first I said…
You go to Church right? Right.
To congregate with your fellow Bible folk right? right?
The pastor reads the word (The book that YOU OWN already)
And relates the word to something in everyday life/his experiences right? Right
…uhhh, why do you need that? You own the book…you prolly would do better to relate the word to YOUR own life and experiences more so than theirs
But okay…

The Bible.

This is what I said…

Since the Bible is written by man and is up to whomever’s interpretations etc etc

What they SHOULDA did was make each “book” in the Bible about specific people like “blacks, Whites, Chinese, Japanese, Jews, etc etc” and each book tells their story

I’d be more likely to buy into the stuff if they said…God made Earth, then he made these people here…these people there…they looked like this…talked like this…and then each of these groups populated the word…and here are their stories

Like you have the Euro book where they were stealing land and getting lazy and then set off in a boat and found these darker people on this continent

Then like in the Black Book you read these people were mindin they own business…wasn’t the most evolved…but then this boat showed up…

You’d be all like Ooohhhhh…and/or like “Don’t get on that boat!!!!” flippin pages to see what happens!

Mannn THAT would be interesting…understanding everyone’s story

There would be no extra religions…everyone would have their book…could learn about others…no fights

HERE IS THE KICKER!!!

I say…don’t release the book! Only have it at church in the hands of the pastor…

You HAVE to go to church to get the story…the next part

It would be like an episode of Lost!

Like…You tryin to shoot ball Sunday? Shiddddd I gotta find out what happened to the Saudi’s homeboy! It was dope last week

See…then like after every book…they release those for purchase…so when they are done you’d have your own book

And like if you missed weeks, you’d have to go to Sunday School to catch up lol

So after they did all the books…THEN they would talk about and relate the stories…

They start the books over every December 25

K, I’m done…if I’m NOT struck by lightning after I post this…I’ll blog again tomorrow lol