Tales from the Cube – Annoying Co Workers

February 13, 2012

You know who’s stupid?

Co workers.

Yep, all of them…least 98% of them…stupid asses

“It is what it is”

Shut up with it is what it is…what is it then? eggs-ackly…you know what? It isn’t
These idiots at work always wanna grab hold to some stupid corporate jargon and run that shit into the ground

“Throw them under the bus”

By all means…get under there and see how they are doing so I could back it up over your stupid fat face.

And you know what you should do?
..Stop bringing your stank ass home cooking to the office!
Chillin..Minding my own business…clicky-clackin on the keyboard then you smell some oniony, cabbagey, southern fried curry deer antler meatloaf casserole that some fuckface brought in from home
Got the damn office smellin like sweaty Bat Balls for a half hour…walkin round smilin

Plus…yo nasty asses coughin and sneezin all over the place and then dippin your swamp thing hands in the community cheese balls or animal crackers or whatever crap-tastic bulk ass Costco crap they bring in
Who eats that shit? You KNOW these people are trfilin…then it’s “Wow people are getting sick…” Wonder why cuz you puttin your Hand herpes all in everything.

What’s with the male adjustments?

Fukn men in the office just walk around and/or stand in front of you rubbin and pullin and adjustin dick …all blatant and shit
Who does that? Its like “I see you” what the hell?
All nonchalant like yeah so such and such called (Adjust , yank, pull, stretch) and they said…WHOA! Gon f’ round and bust one off and I don’t wanna be there… stop that.

Know what else I hate?
Shaking hands…I don’t like people as a rule…let alone touching them
Why is that the formal greeting? Why you gotta touch somebody? What does that do?
Esp. since you know they been adjusting, sneezin, coughin, prolly not wipin, etc etc…Get those nasty ass five fingaz of funk and fungus away from e
Better take this fist bump son..Better yet this head nod

Stop announcin what I’m eating too

…said this before. I know I got some Chick-Fil-A …it says it right here on the bad and carton in big ass Chick-Fil-A red font
So what make it your job to walk by and say “Got some Chick-Fil-A” No shit  you fukin fukface
Or “Looks like somebody got some…” Nah, looks like somebody bout to get plapped ‘side the head with a stapler!

..And stop hovering over my grub…breathin and shit.


You’re cheatin
You got caught cheatin
You know someone that’s cheatin or got caught cheatin
Someone in the office is fukin
Someone in the office is going to or got fired
Someone got beat up
Someone just came out the closet
We don’t have to work the next day and the office is closed
We find out what someone makes and it’s embarrassing or outlandish
The hot chick in the office got naked myspace or facebook pictures
The hot chick in the office wanna fuk me

I don’t care…shut your trap.

I don’t care to talk about:

How cold it is
How hot it is
The game last night that you didn’t watch cuz you’re not a sports fan
Whose birthday it is
Where you’re going
What you did over the weekend
What you did last night
What you want to do
Or anything that has to do with your stupid life (Unless you’re fine and bangin)

Ooo wee your kid said something last night and it was funny? Oooo Wee keep that between you and your snot nosed kid

Stop peddlin your stupid kids school shit at work too

Girl Scout cookies is one thing (Need them Thin Mints dun)
But the fukin: Candles, meat, popcorn, nuts, chocolate bars, fukin vacuums lol go bother your neighbors

…oh and just because you’re my supervisor don’t mean I’m orderin dick…I don’t care about what lil Emily is sellin

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  • http://gravatar.com/12kyle 12kyle

    LMAO!! Funny but true


  • Brokn Record

    I hate ppl too!!!! Some of my co-workers are ok but I wish they would retain info better cuz hate repeating myself.

  • soheavenleigh

    ….antler meatloaf??? my love for you is limitless…

  • http://@mybrneyes Elle boogie

    I swear feel like this every damn day!!!! Last week I spoke 4 words to my coworker all week. The words were “yeah, thx, and uh huh” I really hate her

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